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I have a secret: for the past year I've worried that I'd lost my mojo. Sometimes I wondered if I wanted to write at all. Every day at the page seemed to be a battle, and I knew deep down it would be easier to give up the fight and just go back to being someone's employee instead of the boss. The responsible one. The creative one. So why didn't I? Because I couldn't.
First, I knew without a doubt that writing is what I'm meant to do. I've always known it. I can't forget about it even if I don't actually do it. So there's that.
Second, I knew that the loss of my creativity -- and that's exactly what it was -- had nothing to do with whether or not I was a writer in my heart. Really it was all about chemistry. My body chemistry. My health. There were a lot of health issues, old and many many new, that were pouring down on my head. They were the thieves stealing my mojo. I just couldn't figure out how to steal it back.
Some days I still don't know. But I'm slowly beginning to understand, to find answers for myself and find others who know answers. And I want to share those answers with you.
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Readers or writers, we all have minds, and sometimes those minds don't work like they're supposed to. Mine doesn't, not anymore. I'll get into why in later HDHW posts, but suffice it to say my mind, my moods, my ability to write and sometimes even think has been impacted in a way I never expected -- and was totally clueless how to deal with. I've been on a long journey, and I've learned a little here and there along the way. I'm not a medical professional. I'm not a health guru. I'm just an ordinary woman who had to find answers when no one else seemed to have them. I'm a writer who watched her mind slowly dying and knew she had to do something. If you've ever felt the same, or if you've felt the effects of isolation, constant computer use, and the other tolls of this job (and many others in our tech-heavy world), then this blog series is for you.
And hopefully me, because I want to learn from you too.
Check back the first Wednesday of every month for a new Hump Day Healthy Writer, and share your experiences and what works for you. You never know who can be helped by the small piece of wisdom you possess.
~ Ella
